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Harry, a parent is the twenty-third episode of the science fiction comedy television series Resident Alien and the thirteenth episode of the second season. It aired on September 7, 2022.

Synopsis[]

After losing the Alien Baby, Harry learns which alien race is on Earth. It's not what he expected.

Plot[]

Absent parents[]

A truck pulls up in a house in the woods and a man gets out. He enters the house, then goes outside, grabs an axe and heads back in. He heads upstairs, where his wife is in bed having passionate sex with another man. He points the ax at her, growling that he knew it. The husband swings the ax at the other man, but he dodges. He swings wildly as the man holds up his hands, pleading for him to stop. The wife shouts for him to stop and time freezes.

Harry sits in his office at the Patience Health Clinic in his alien form, talking to himself about how he was left alone in the ice wind desert to die. He says that he did not care at the time, but it is now very painful, that he had killed all his siblings. "And how did that make you feel?" asks his human form, who is now sitting at his desk, across from Mayor Ben Hawthorne. "Having an absent father?" asks Ben, saying that it made him feel vulnerable. "And how does that make you feel?" Harry asks and Ben realizes he hasn't been listening to a word he's been saying. He claims that he has, in fact, been listening to several words.

In the Patience Sheriff's Office, Deputy Liv Baker brings Sheriff Mike Thompson a gift, a Patience snow globe. She points out a car within it, suggesting that maybe it's Detective Lena Torres coming to visit. He tells her he sees what she's doing, that she's trying to get him to stay. He says that he would think if anyone would be happy about him leaving it would be her because then maybe she could be sheriff someday. He tells her that she could, but she'd have to get rid of some of her silly hobbies, such as UFOs. He places the snowglobe on his desk.

D'arcy Bloom is out jogging with her boyfriend, Elliot. She tells him he's doing a good job keeping up for somebody who doesn't train and he tells her it's the only way he can spend time with her these days. She suggests letting him off lightly and he tells her she's the one who's limping. He suggests that she listen to her body, that it speaks to her, but she says the keyword is that it's her body. He asks that they keep things light and she apologizes, telling him that she's stressed because of the push to get ready for the tournament. He suggests they put some snow on her knee to bring down the swelling and she asks that he stop parenting her. Annoyed, he tells her that he needs to go home and he'll see her later. She sighs and pulls out a bottle of pills, taking several and annoyed to see that they were the last in the bottle.

Time travel[]

In his office, Harry studies photos of aliens and pictures of them on his laptop. Asta comes in, telling Harry that Ben said he doesn't want to pay for the morning's therapy, that he said Harry wasn't listening to him. "I wasn't, he is boring," admits Harry and Asta tells him that she doesn't blame him for being distracted, given that he just found out that he is Goliath, also making him the father of the alien baby who was just kidnapped. He tells her that the only reason he's distracted is because the baby was kidnapped before he could find out which alien race is on Earth. He tells her he does not care about father-baby stuff, but she counters that it's human nature to care. He replies that it's human nature, not alien nature. She tells him that she's still confused as to how the future him could have sent him a message, if he had some sort of time machine.

Harry tells her that there is no such thing as a time machine, that the only way to travel back in time is through a portal, basically a split in the fabric of time. He tries to explain it, before admitting that his his own people have never been able to figure out the technology. He tells her that he must have used one that was left behind and that there are only two races capable of creating them. One of them is the Greys, but he says it cannot be them because they have no use for humans except to probe their elimination holes. This leaves the Alpha Draconians. Asta asks if they are dangerous and he says that they are, but not in the same way as the Greys, and are good at disguising themselves. He says that they can look human, then picks Asta's nose, explaining that if she were an Alpha Draconian, that would have been pleasurable for her.

Kate meets with Ben in his office, apologizing for having missed the morning therapy session. She tells him that she's now thinking that maybe the resort is not such a great idea after all. She tells him that she thinks that Patience is really great the way it is and she's worried that the resort might change it too much. He says he never thought he'd hear her say that Patience is great the way it is and she admits to being a convert. He tells her, however, that they're still doing the resort, that he thinks it would be good for the town. She says that she sees what he's doing, that she told him after the presentation to stick by his guns no matter who was against him. She says, however, that it's her, so it's different. He asks just how it's different and she says that she's not for it anymore. He tells her they'll have to agree to disagree.

Judy Cooper comes into the clinic, cuts all over her hands. She is treated by Nurse Ellen Cho and D'arcy enters, asking her what happened. She tells her that she had to give her cat, Kevin, a bath. D'arcy tells Ellen that she needs more pain meds and Ellen tells her that she got a one-month supply and she should have plenty left. D'arcy asks if she's saying they should make the writing on the side bigger so she can read it. Asta comes in, asking D'arcy what she's doing there, and she tells her that she was just coming to make sure she's coming to her qualifiers tomorrow. She says that she brought her parents and they'd love to see her and make her feel worthless. Asta agrees she wouldn't miss it. She then sees Harry and asks if he wants to come, saying she wants to pack the stands with her biggest fans. He tells her that he will not come, then, as he is not her fan. "Well, then I guess you don't want to eat the best churros in Colorado," she comments and he agrees he will be there. D'arcy then seeks out Harry alone. She asks him if he can bring his doctor's bag with him on the trip in case she needs a cortisone shot. She also tells him that she needs him to refill her prescription, that she dumped a bunch down the drain. He calls her a klutz, suggesting that maybe she should not be participating in major sporting events. He tells her to be careful, that pain pills can be addictive. She threatens him with not getting churros.

Alien emojis[]

Asta goes through some old stuff at home. She discovers an envelope addressed to a Mary-Ellen Taylor with the message on it "NOT at this address! RETURN TO SENDER!," the letter having been sent by Dan. She opens it and discovers a picture of herself as a young girl and the message "Thought you might want to see her." She goes to Dan, saying that he knew where her mother was when she was in third grade, but he never told her. He says the address was old even then and she wasn't even living there anymore. Asta replies that it's still an address, a piece of her no matter how small, that maybe if she had found her, she would have wanted her. Dan apologizes, telling her he just didn't want to get her hopes up.

D'arcy, Asta and Harry all head out for D'arcy's skiing trip. Asta asks D'arcy if she finally gets to meet Elliot. "Probably not," D'arcy tells her, as Harry asks "Are we there yet?" from the back-seat. Asta asks why Elliot wouldn't be coming to cheer her and she admits that she kind of pushed him away. Asta says it's a lot to unpack and that she really thought Elliot was worth breaking her pattern. Harry tells them that he has to pee. They begin using euphemisms for "pee" before finally telling him that he just has to hold it. He thinks to himself that he spies a way to contact the Alpha Draconians and demands to them that they pull over or he will pee right then and there. They do so, a sign outside reading "Welcome to the 37th Parallel, the UFO Highway." Harry runs off, the two of them wondering why he's going so far away.

Asta shows D'arcy an old "Team D'arcy" hat she found, as well as the letter to Mary-Ellen Taylor. D'arcy tells her that the address is nearby and that she should go. Asta is dubious at first, but then warms to the idea, saying that it would be super-awesome to find out more about her mother, even if it's just something like a tree she once sat under. She thinks that maybe her mother was a lot like her, that she gave her up to protect her. As they continue to wait for Harry, they wonder just what he's doing out there. In a field of wheat, Harry appears to be doing some sort of strange dance, parting the stalks and flattening them. He returns to the car and they ask just what he was doing out there and why he's all grassy and sweaty. He does not answer. He does, however, think to himself that humans do not realize what crop circles are, alien emojis, as the results of his handiwork are revealed as two crop circles, him thinking that the circle on the right stands for his middle finger.

Smoke more[]

The qualifying round for the Hard Pack takes off, with D'arcy making her practice run. It goes very well. Afterwards, D'arcy asks Asta to go get her a churro. She then takes Harry aside, calling him her buddy and telling him she needs him to hook her up with a cortisone shot. He tells her that the Internet says he shouldn't, that while it prohibits the inflammatory response it could mask further damage and re-injury, resulting in permanent damage. D'arcy agrees that this is true, but tells him that her smashing her skis in his face could cause permanent damage to him. He tells her she would make a good opponent on the battlefield and gives her the shot. They meet back up with Asta, D'arcy claiming that she was just showing Harry around. D'arcy suggests Asta go get a cider. Harry then pokes D'arcy in the nose, secretly testing her to see if she's an Alpha Draconian. "Never that!" she tells him, recoiling.

In the Patience Health Clinic, Nurse Ellen is treating Sheriff Mike's father, Lewis. She tells him that he just feel and that he'll be alright in a day or two. She continues that he should keep his fluids up, but if he had cut back on the caffeine like she told him to, he wouldn't even be there. Lewis tells her she's not supposed to shame the patient, but Mike says he told the nurses they could all shame and degrade him if it keeps him alive.

Deputy Liv enters with a bouquet, telling Sheriff Mike "Look who has flowers." Lewis says she didn't have to buy them and she tells him she didn't, that they're from Detective Lena Torres. "I'll be damned, you were right," comments Lewis and Sheriff asks what she was right about. He says that Lena has the hots for him and he asks if they have some sort of secret circle he doesn't know about. Liv says that they're just having fun and it doesn't matter since he's moving back to D.C. Lewis asks why this is the first he's hearing of this, saying that he's part of this decision too and he's not moving anywhere. Mike is confusing, noting that Lewis always complains about everything he misses in D.C. Lewis tells him that he enjoys complaining in general, that it keeps his heart rate up, but he can tell that Mike is happy there. Mike says he doesn't know what he's talking about, but Lewis tells him that he's afraid to be happy.

Back at the ski slopes, Asta tells Harry that she found a bunch of stuff about the Alpha Draconians online. She says they're a lizard people and asks Harry they should look for them under rocks, or if they're poisonous like Komodo dragons. He tells her that she doesn't have to worry, that he already took care of it, explaining about the crop circles he made. He tells her he left them a note and a caption shows that he left them the message "Drink my tinkle, Draconian douchebags!" She asks about what if they don't respond, or more importantly, if they do respond to that. He tells her that they will respond, being egotistical chicken-dicks. She says that they have time to kill before D'arcy's race and can spend it worrying about how the Alpha Draconians are going to respond. She then says that she has a better idea, pulling out the envelope with Mary-Ellen Taylor's address.

The two of them arrive at the address on the envelope and Asta knocks on the door. She asks the woman who answers if she knows somebody who lived there a long time ago named Mary-Ellen Taylor. She asks what they want and Asta apologizes, saying they were just in the area and wanted any information about her or where she want. The woman admits to being Mary-Ellen Taylor. To Asta's disappointment, however, she turns out not to care about her and all and be completely uninterested. Smoking heavily the whole time that Harry and Asta are there, she tells Asta that she never set out to be a mother and wouldn't have been a good one. She tells her that she's not the type to raise kids and when Asta tries to show her a photo of her own daughter, Jay, she excuses herself to take a phone call. When she finally does look at the photo, she makes no comment, leading Harry to say that she's supposed to say something like "She is pretty," or "She looks just like you." "I thought you said you gave her up?" asks Mary-Ellen. Asta admits she did. "So she's not your daughter, right?" she asks. Harry and Asta excuse themselves. Mary-Ellen takes another phone call. She asks them if there's something else. "Nothing important," says Asta, finally leaving. Harry moves to leave too, but not before delivering a parting shot: "As a doctor... smoke more."

One man's opinion[]

Back on the road, Harry thinks to himself that he does not care about his alien baby and that Asta's mother is just like him, that she would abandon Asta to the Ice Wind Desert and never think of her again, but Asta doesn't need to know that. He tells Asta that it's only natural and that he was right to care about his alien baby. She tells him that he's trying to make her feel better, but her mother doesn't care about her. She says she's always had this hole in her past and now it's been filled. "Filled with garbage!" shouts Harry, telling Asta that Mary-Ellen is garbage and a bag of shit. Asta giggles. She tells him that's sweet and they trade euphemisms for "shit."

Back at the slope, D'arcy makes her final run of the day. She peps herself up, then takes off. It is another fantastic run, and everyone cheers. She appears at the top of the scoreboard. "Looking for someone?" asks Elliot. He tells her she was incredible and they hug. She tells him she's glad he's there. He says he wouldn't miss it and she tells him this is more than she can say for her parents. He tells her not to worry about them, that she has him. "And all of them," he tells her, pointing to Harry, Asta, Kayla, Judy, Ben and Kate. They give a cheer, Judy holding up a sign reading "GO SKANK." D'arcy gets a call for press photos and she asks Elliot to come with.

That evening, in the after-festivities, Kate hands Ben some cider and a donut, telling him that the cider cost $8 and the donut $4. He says it's ridiculous and she tells him it must be those resort town prices. He tells her that he'll have two donuts, that whoever made them had to beat out the other competing shops and that's how quality goes up. She calls him stubborn and he says they agreed to disagree. She tells him nobody means that and walks away. He tells Harry his therapy is working. Kayla asks Kate if everything is okay and she tells her that she just can't get Ben off the resort. She tells Kate that she's a lawyer, asking why she's spending so much time worrying about one man's opinion. She says she did some research on temporary restraining orders to halt progress before a preliminary injunction hearing. She asks Kate if she's in. "When do we start?" asks Kate.

The Greys[]

D'arcy arrives and Asta demands a speech. She tells everyone it means a lot they're here and introduces Elliot as her boyfriend. Everyone commiserates and enjoys the celebrations. Harry, Asta and D'arcy head home when suddenly D'arcy's car sputters to a stop and the lights go out. Asta asks D'arcy if she's okay on gas and she says he has half a tank. Suddenly, everyone freezes in place except for Harry. "Asta?" asks Harry. The lights and the radio come back on and everything seems normal. D'arcy says it makes no sense and Asta turns to Harry, who looks troubled. She asks if he's okay and he nods, but thinks to himself that he's not. They take off.

Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv are out in the woods at night. Liv tells Mike that this is it, that this where she saw a UFO as a child. She explains that she was on a class camping trip and the teacher didn't believe him. He asks how she knows if it wasn't just her imagination if she was a child and she insists she saw it. She says she knows it's safer to be a skeptic, asking if he doesn't want to sometimes see the world as magical. He says that when his mother was alive, his father was a different guy, that he had a light inside him, that he loved the sound of her key in the door. When she died, his light went out. Liv says he got to have it for a long time and that life tries to give us gifts, but we have to be open to receiving them. Mike tells her he can see that. She says it's why she keeps coming back, that she feels silly sitting alone, but one time, they might be back. He tells her that this is where she's wrong, that she's not all alone.

Asta and D'arcy sit at Joe's Diner. D'arcy asks Asta to tell her she hates Elliot, and then she can drop him. Asta says this isn't the reason why she's so out of it, it's just that she met her mother today. D'arcy asks how it goes and Asta's face says it all. She sobs and D'arcy hugs her. Harry thinks to himself that before today he thought parenting meant an older human taking care of a younger one by feeding and clothing them, but sometimes it means protecting them emotionally too. He thinks that the protective instinct isn't limited to biological children, that humans parent partners and friends. He wonders how you parent when you are in danger too.

He thinks back to when things stopped on the truck. He got out and was approached by a Grey alien. The Grey told him that he was wrong, that it is not the Alpha Draconians here on Earth. Harry asks what he's doing there, that the Greys have never cared about the Earth. The Grey calls him "so stupid." He tells Harry that they know who he is and that it's no use trying to get in their way, that they will destroy him and everyone he cares about. He walks away and is beamed up in a spaceship in a flash of light. Harry returns to the truck and things unfreeze. He thinks to himself that sometimes parenting means pretending you feel safe, even when you don't. They very nearly run over a man in his underwear, the man from the house that was cheating with the wife. "Was that guy in his underwear?" wonders Asta as the man runs away, the husband still with the axe, chasing after and shouting for him to come back.

Quotes[]

"Humans do not realize what crop circles really are... alien emojis. The complex circle on the right stands for my middle finger."
- Harry Vanderspeigle, thinking to himself

"As a doctor... smoke more."
- Harry Vanderspeigle to Mary-Ellen Taylor after seeing her treatment of her biological daughter, Asta Twelvetrees

"Asta's mother is just like me. She would abandon Asta in the Ice-Wind Desert and never think of her again, but Asta does not need to know that."
- Harry Vanderspeigle, thinking to himself

"It is not the Alpha Draconians here on Earth. And please, stop sending them messages. We don't need those idiots down here."
"You are the Greys."
- A Grey alien and Harry Vanderspeigle

Cast and characters[]

Starring:

Guest starring:


Co-starring:

  • Alvin Sanders as Lewis Thompson
  • Dave Hospes as Man
  • Jenn Bird as The Wife
  • Ben Dextraze as The Other Man

Trivia[]

  • The title would seem to be a wordplay on the phrase "Heir apparent."

Gallery[]

Still images[]

Videos[]

External Links[]