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Killing may make humans feel strong in the moment, but what I've begun to realize is, true strength comes from choosing not to kill. Maybe being truly human is about choosing to love instead. But with that love comes the pain I feel inside me.

Harry Vanderspeigle, "Heroes of Patience"

Harry Vanderspeigle (pronounced /ˈvændəɹˌspiːɡəl/, VAN-dər-SPEE-gəl), real name unpronounceable by humans, is the protagonist of the science fiction comedy television series Resident Alien. He is an alien who crash-lands on Earth and takes over the life of a doctor in the town of Patience. Harry is portrayed by Alan Tudyk.

Character overview[]

Harry has the ability to morph into the form of another species and does this with Harry Vanderspeigle, completely assuming his identity after killing him. He then learns English through watching television, particularly old reruns of Law and Order. He hides out in a small shack by a lake and his first major test comes when he is forced to assume Harry's role as a doctor, summoned to the town of Patience to investigate a murder. He has lost a portion of his spacecraft and is desperately searching for it in order to complete his mission before somebody else finds it. His mission is the genocide of the entire human species and he considers his own interaction with humans a distraction he must now deal with to avoid being detected before he can complete his job. His species has no human emotions and he finds, to his annoyance, that he is beginning to experience human emotions upon having assumed human form. Despite being on a mission to kill all humans, his short time in a human form has already led him to become protective towards Asta Twelvetrees, Sam Hodges's nurse who is now working under him. He has no qualms at first, however, about attempting to kill Max Hawthorne, a young boy who is able to see through his human form.

Due to his unfamiliarity with human behavior and nuances, Harry Vanderspeigle is often bluntly honest. This comes across as refreshing to some, but often annoys or exasperates others. He also has trouble with humor and often realizes only after seeing other's reactions that he has said something that they consider to be funny. Although he has trouble with bowling, he proves a natural at shooting a basketball, though has trouble with the nuances of the game, such as dribbling and passing the ball. As Harry slowly adapts to life on Earth, he begins developing human behaviors and idiosyncracies. He gains the ability to sleep and dream. He also gains an appetite for certain foods and beverages, including milk and pizza, and later pie.

He reveals that he was a scientist on his home planet. He claims to Asta Twelvetrees to have had a wife back home, who passed away. He later reveals that his species actually has no genders and his wife was simply his partner. Furthermore, an impregnated member of his species gives birth to hundreds of offspring at once and he personally had 342 children. Though as an alien he did not worry about any of them, he now cannot stop thinking about #62, who had his eyes. As he continues to spend time around humans, he finds that he has become increasingly "infected with humanity," troubled by emotions he never felt before and harboring serious doubts about the mission that brought him to Earth.

Appearance[]

On the surface, Harry Vanderspeigle appears to be an ordinary human Caucasian male, clean-shaven with short, light-brown hair. In truth, he is an alien with olive-colored skin, big black eyes and ridges across his skin, as well as clawed hands. Whereas the original human Harry Vanderspeigle wore glasses, the alien apparently does not need them in his human form. He describes his human form as looking like a "young Jerry Orbach," based on his knowledge of Earth culture from watching reruns of Law and Order.

Plot summary[]

Arrival and trying to fit in[]

Harry Vanderspeigle arrived on Earth in his spaceship, his mission simply to deposit a device which would result in the destruction of the entire human species. His spaceship struck down in a lightning storm, he wandered the countryside of Colorado for a time before coming across the cabin of Harry Vanderspeigle on the outskirts of the city of Patience. He killed the man in what he considered self-defense, sending his body through one of the cabin's windows and into an icy lake. He then used his species' metamorphic abilities to assume the man's identity and began learning to behave as a human, largely through watching old reruns of Law and Order on television.

For several months, the Vanderspeigle alien lived a solitary life, spending his time searching the countryside for his device, the fragments of his spacecraft, and also at times searching the lake for the body of Harry Vanderspeigle. One day, he was busy searching the lake when Mike Thompson and Liv Baker, the sheriff and sheriff's deputy of Patience, arrived outside of his cabin. Upon meeting him, they told him that there had been a murder in town and they wanted him to investigate, as he was a doctor and the man who had been killed was the town doctor, Sam Hodges. Vanderspeigle reluctantly agreed to accompany the two back to town. There, at the Patience Health Clinic, he made a cursory examination of Hodges and claimed that the man had committed suicide. He then left the doctor's office, where he encountered Max Hawthorne, a young boy who screamed and fled upon seeing him. He realized, to his chagrin, that Max was one of the one in approximately one million humans able to see past his human form. Before he could consider it further, however, Asta Twelvetrees, Hodges's nurse, confronted him and insisted that he return and do a full autopsy.

Vanderspeigle agreed to her demand and the two worked together to complete the autopsy, but Twelvetrees found his behavior and mannerisms to be very odd. Determined to prove that he fit in, Vanderspeigle agreed to her request to join her in the town pub, The 59. There, he met the bartender, D'Arcy Bloom, danced with her, and learned something of the town's history. He also got very drunk and, afterwards, decided that the best way to deal with the boy Max was to try to kill him. He was caught by the boy, who screamed for his parents, then hid under the boy's bed while they escorted him out of his room, convinced that his talk of an alien trying to kill him was simply due to having watched the movie E.T.: The Extraterrestrial. The next day, he returned to town, having agreed to let Twelveetrees use his truck to move some boxes out of her old home. He ended up encountering her ex-husband, Jimmy. She tried to send him away, but he hid out and observed him abusing her, at which point he pulled him through the wall of his home and throttled him within an inch of his life. When Twelvetrees asked how he managed what he did, he wrote it off as having done yoga.

Vanderspeigle attended the funeral of Sam Hodges and confronted Ben Hawthorne, the town's mayor. He asked him why it was that everyone was calling him, believing him to be the new town doctor. Ben told him that everyone has the right to medical care and, as the town's mayor, it was his job to ensure that they get it. He continued that he had a standing 4 P.M. therapy appointment with Hodges on Tuesdays and he wanted to continue it with him. He walked away and Twelvetrees joined Vanderspeigle. A passing comment she made led him to have a brainwave and realize that rather than committing suicide, Hodges was poisoned. To everyone's shock, he opened Hodges's coffin, telling Twelvetrees that if he waited, it would be too late. After Twelvetrees led him away from the shocked priest and mourners, he explained his new theory: Hodges had been poisoned, causing his throat to constrict. He attempted to give himself a tracheotomy, but passed away before he could complete the procedure.

The next day, Vanderspeigle returned to the clinic, beginning his new job as the town doctor. He was led into the exam room to meet his first patient, but upon pulling back the curtain, discovered Max Hawthorne, the boy from before, who screamed loudly. "Yeah, this is some bullshit," he agreed.

First day on the job[]

Vanderspeigle made another cursory attempt to kill the boy, but he ran away and hid under a bench outside. With the boy gone, he began his first day at work as the new town doctor, bluffing his way through the job. As an alien of superior intelligence, he figured that he could just look up everything he needed on the Internet, but the initial work proved more challenging than he might have guessed. Trying to give a woman a pelvic exam, his attempt to hide his Internet search resulted in him accidentally flashing a photo, which he explained away as taking a selfie. Later, he gave a woman a breast exam and insulted her by using the term "tit."

That evening, Vanderspeigle met Asta Twelvetrees's adoptive father, Dan, who upon seeing him told her that he had a "bad feeling." When she replied that he has a bad feeling regarding any man within ten feet of her, he told that when he looked at Vanderspeigle, he felt nothing at all. Afterwards, while out walking, he noticed a number of wanted posters with a picture of his alien form, made by Max using a sketch created by deputy Liv Baker. Realizing that the boy wasn't going to give up, he decided to take a different tack and call up Max's home, pretending to be one of Max's school friends. When Max took the phone, however, he realized that the voice on the other end of the line wasn't that of a child and quickly sussed out Vanderspeigle's ruse. Frustrated, Vanderspeigle again shouted that he was going to kill the boy.

An emptiness[]

Back at the clinic, Asta Twelvetrees set Vanderspeigle up in the nurse's office, explaining that she didn't yet want anyone to be in Sam Hodges's office. He asked her about her struggles with Sam Hodges's death and she told him that she didn't have anyone to talk to when she was sad as a child, as she and her father didn't get along well and she moved out. He asked her why she moved back and she admitted that she missed home. When, however, she tried to ask him about his own past, and where he was from, however, he evaded the question, saying that he was hungry. Reflecting that the human form was often confusing to him and he was often struck with an emptiness that didn't go away despite eating, Vanderspeigle traveled to the pub from before. When D'Arcy Bloom asked him why he was there, he told her that he had been hungry, but for some reason no longer was. She suggested that it might be stress, admitting to being a big stress eater. She offered him some more whiskey, but he refused, saying that he had tried to kill someone the last time that he drank it. Taking this for a joke, she quipped that if he was going to kill someone, he should make it look like an accident or else he wouldn't be able to go bowling with her the next evening. This led him to the conclusion that he could kill Max Hawthorne and make it look like an accident. He accepted her request and left, wondering to himself what bowling was.

The next day, he gave a counseling session to Ben Hawthorne, discovering that the man sometimes fantasized about being a kid again. Their session was interrupted by a loud argument, as the widow of Sam Hodges had arrived in the office and was trying to claim his possessions, despite Twelvetrees's insistence that the place was a crime scene and nobody was allowed to touch everything. As he watched the ongoing argument, he reflected to himself that pathetic humans allowed emotions to dictate their behavior. That evening, he went bowling with Bloom as promised. At the bowling alley, the two were surprised to encounter Sheriff Mike Thompson, Bloom quipping that he ought to be out solving crime. The two both bowled strikes, but when Vnaderpseigle took his turn, his attempt at calculating a shot using math resulted only in his accidentally lobbing the ball backwards into Thompsons's crotch, an embarrassing failure. Thompson left and he and Bloom sat down to talk. He asked Bloom when the snow on the mountain usually melted and she replied that it all depended on when they got a good rain and it could happen in as little in a week. The conversation turned to skiing and Bloom admitted that she had once had dreams of skiing in the Olympics, dreams that were dashed when she fell and broke several bones. The comment gave Vanderspeigle an idea and he rose suddenly from their table, telling her that he had to go.

Vanderpseigle reflected that Max Hawthorne rode his bike every morning to school and that he wouldn't survive without brakes. He cut the brakes on the boy's bike, considering it a genius plan. The next day, however, he was working the clinic when he was told that Ben Hawthorne was there and that there had been an accident. "I'm sorry for your loss," he told Ben. "What loss?" asked Ben, showing him Max and telling him that he had fallen in his driveway and needed stitches. "That's it?" asked Vanderspeigle, stunned. He and Max squared off, him saying that he didn't bite, then whispering to Max that he actually did. He told him that they had Novocain for good boys, asking him if he was going to be a good boy. "Of course," Max agreed for the benefit of his father, who was listening from a distance, before whispering to Vanderspeigle, "No, never." Vanderspeigle then stitched up Max's wound, Max grimacing through the pain, but refusing to give. As he and Ben walked out, Vanderspiegle warned "Remember, if you're not careful, something horrible can happen to you." Max shot back that he could take care of himself, then tricked Vanderspeigle by making him think his shoe was untied. That evening, at the clinic, Asta Twelvetrees admitted to Vanderspeigle that Dan wasn't her biological father, that her mother left her when she was one and that Dan took her in and raised her. He agreed to play a card game with her, telling her he'd put his stuff in his office, referring to the nurse's office. She, however, told him that Hodges's office was his office now. As the two played cards, he reflected that he didn't want to, but he could tell that Asta was sad. He wondered how it was that he could feel an emotion that was inside somebody else. As he continued his search of the mountains, he discovered tellurium, a substance from his home planet with anti-gravitational properties. He realized that human emotions were growing inside of him and the emptiness he had been feeling was loneliness. He reflected further that now that he had found the tellurium, he could heal the loneliness by flying home once he found his device undiscovered and detonated it, frying every human being on Earth.

Another body[]

Vanderspeigle continued to search for the remains of spaceship, but found his progress hindered by an avalanche caused by others who were searching the mountain. One morning, he heard a knock at his door and opened it to find Kate Hawthorne, the mother of the boy Max. She stated that her son told her that he was an alien. Alarmed, he secretly reached for a knife, already readying himself to kill her, when she asked him what was wrong with her son, why it was that he was making things up. He clarified that she did not, in fact, believe her son's story. Relieved, he told her that she didn't have anything to worry about. She showed him a wanted poster that had been created by Max, saying that he was driving her crazy and asking him as a doctor if there was anything they could do. "Move," he suggested, saying that Scotland needed mayors. She told him point blank that her family wasn't moving and he played it off as a joke, saying that Max was probably just looking for attention. She agreed that this made sense, as she tried to avoid Max during the day, with it being awkward for him to have a mother who worked at school. "Neglect," agreed Vanderspeigle, telling her she could go.

Later that morning, he discovered Max lying in wait for him outside the clinic. The two traded barbs and Max accused him of ripping down his posters. He shot back that he could put them back up if he wanted, that nobody believed him, not even his parents. The two got into an argument regarding Vanderspeigle's knowledge of Earth's history and culture that ended with Max getting the one-up and Vanderspeigle calling him an "asshole." Inside the clinic, he had a discussion with Asta Twelvetrees in which he revealed that he was having trouble sleeping (in fact, was not able to at all), which was interrupted by the arrival of a summons to the town hall on a report that there had been another dead body found, this time in the lake. Upon arriving at the town hall, however, he learned that what had actually been discovered was an individual foot, found by fisherman out trawling the lake. He quickly realized that the foot in question was that of Harry Vanderspeigle, the doctor whose identity he had assumed. Sheriff Mike Thompson expressed that they had a serial killer in town, which he felt was a good thing, because serial killers were easier to catch than normal murderers. He announced that he was sending the foot to Denver for DNA testing and Vanderspeigle panicked, as he knew that the results of the DNA test would implicate him.

Hatching a plan, Vanderspeigle asked Thompson to give him the foot. He told him that he had experience in pathology and that he could take a sample, rather than it being necessary to send the whole foot to Denver. Thompson agreed that this was a good idea and ordered him to take a skin sample. Then, while examining a baby who had been brought to the office, he asked if the boy had been circumcised. When she said that he hadn't, he told her that she really should consider it, that it could reduce both urinary tract infections and STDs. Somehow, he got the woman to agree to the procedure, then delivered the foreskin to Thompson, passing it off as the skin sample from the foot. That evening, he tried again to sleep, only to be disturbed by the sudden arrival of Mike Thompson, his deputy Liv Baker and their police dog Cletus, as well as Ben and Kate Hawthorne. Thompson announced that they were going to be searching the lake and would not stop until they found the body the foot had come from. He and the others departed for the lake, leaving the dog behind.

Alien's victory[]

As the search got underway, Vanderspeigle lamented that he didn't like this feeling, that even the dog was making him nervous. He narrates that, after his ship crashed, he was on his own for two weeks. He flashed back to a time when he had no feelings, when he was still wandering the wilderness and he encountered a cowboy on horseback and stole both his horse and hat. Back in the present, he heard Cletus's barking and discovered that the dog had found the body of the human Vanderspeigle washed upon the shore. Fighting the dog the whole way, he dragged the body back inside the cabin, only to be startled by the sudden arrival of D'Arcy Bloom and Judy, who had been watching the search on the lake, but had gotten bored. He told them he was just standing there doing nothing and they told him about their own activities, saying that it was like their town's version of a drive-in. They asked to use his bathroom and he allowed it. They did so, examining his medicine cabinet in the process, and he then ushered them out. They told him that they didn't want to stay anyway, that they were going to a party, but it was a girl's night out thing, so he couldn't come.

Vanderspeigle was relieved at their exit. Sometime later, the search at the beach was called off due to the mayor's seasickness, and Thompson and Baker returned to Vanderspeigle's to collect Cletus. Upon arrival, however, they discovered the dog barking its head off. Despite Vanderspeigle's pleas that they couldn't go in, the dog led them directly to the cabin's basement and its freezer. Thinking the dog was onto something, Thompson opened the freezer, only to discover a number of wrapped packages labeled as meat products - "bison," "pork chops," etc. He said that this explained things, that Cletus was crazy for meat. He agreed that there was nothing to see there and he, Baker and Cletus cleared out. Vanderspeigle then crowed to himself over his victory, as the body of the human Vanderspeigle was in the freezer, buried carefully underneath the piles of meat packages. The next day, he returned to the clinic, where he discovered Twelvetrees applying a lock to the desk drawer where Hodges had kept his prescription pads. He told her that he also had some things he needed to lock away and she asked who he even was. "Just a... guy," he told her. Later that day, he was eating in Joe's Diner when the girl Sahar, who claimed to believe Max Hawthorne's story, came in for a closer look at him and then knocked over his drink cup before running away with Hawthorne.

Guess who's coming to dinner[]

Vanderspeigle had a dream in which he walked through the town of Patience in his alien form, receiving warm regards from everyone he met before finally returning home to an alien wife and baby. There, he received a package from a friendly mailman, which turned out to contain the device he'd been searching for. It activated, killing every human. Vanderspeigle then awoke with a start, commenting that he dreams now. He went out to confront Sheriff Thompson, complaining that his "domesticated wolf" (Cletus) woke him up. He and Deputy Baker explained that they moved their search to the shore.

That afternoon, Vanderspeigle was in a cafe eating pie, when he was approached by Mayor Hawthorne, who told him that he was making progress on finding a new town doctor. He remained sitting there and when Vanderspeigle pointed it out, he explained that he and his wife were concerned about their son's behavior. To this end, they were inviting Vanderspeigle over for dinner. Vanderspeigle tried to refuse, but Hawthorne wouldn't take no for an answer. Vanderspeigle then returned to the clinic, where he tried to invite Asta to come to dinner with him, but she refused, being busy. She, however, volunteered D'Arcy Bloom, who agreed to come. Meanwhile, Asta accused Jay of stealing one of Sam Hodges's prescription pads. Jay tried to play it off and Vanderspeigle asked why Asta would ask her that. Jay thought he was backing her up, only for him to comment that statistically she was the one most likely to have stolen it.

Vanderspeigle arrived over at the Hawthornes' place, where Ben and Kate were surprised to discover that he had brought a date. Vanderspeigle, meanwhile, was surprised to discover that Max was being perfectly civil towards him, unaware that outside, Max's friend Sahar was busy stealing his keys to make copies of them. The dinner proceeded, with Kate discovering that Bloom and her husband had a shared history. As for Vanderspeigle, during a moment alone with Max, he asked him why he was being so nice, given how many times that he had tried to kill him. Max simply replied that he would do the same if he were an alien, asking him if he wanted more potatoes. Vanderspeigle and Bloom finally left, despite Max's attempts to stall their departure to give Sahar more time, and Vanderspeigle reflected that maybe the boy had finally come to like him, that he was a likeable alien. Vanderspeigle drove Bloom home and she asked if he was going to kiss her. He reflected that he had seen this on TV and gave her a kiss. Though a bit awkward, Bloom commented that it wasn't the worst kiss he ever had. She exited and Vanderspeigle had an erection, thinking that it was rigor mortis and his penis was dying.

Harry don't got game[]

The afternoon of the next day, Vanderspeigle was on call when Asta learned that her grandmother's back was hurting again. In the past, Sam Hodges would have traveled to the Ute Reservation to give her an injection and so Asta wanted Vanderspeigle to come in Hodge's place, given that he was on call. Vanderspeigle did not want to go, but she took him and her adoptive father Dan, who didn't want to come either, on the basis that she didn't want grown men to act like children. On the way there, the group stopped at a gas station, and while going to the bathroom to pee, Vanderspeigle unwittingly encountered David Logan, one of two military agents out searching for the alien that had crashed in the mountains.

The group finally arrived at the reservation and Vanderspeigle, seeing everyone there, came to a realization. He saw that it was not food that brought people together, but rather a basic need to felt like they belonged, something which felt good. They entered Asta's grandmother's room and Vanderspeigle gave her the injection, the two of them bonding over some shared abuse of Dan. Asta's grandmother then made a comment that it was about time that Asta had a child and Vanderspeigle said that she already did, that it was obvious from their shared facial structure and how they both ate like they were starving to death, it was obvious that Jay was Asta's child. Stunned at Vanderspeigle outing her like this, Jay exited, leading Vanderspeigle to comment that they also both ran out of rooms in the same way. Realizing that he needed to give everyone some space, Vanderspeigle left the room as well and took a walk, coming across a group of guys playing basketball. When one of them accidentally tossed the ball his way, they shouted for him to toss it back, but to their astonishment he dunked the ball from all the way across the court. They all immediately wanted him as part of the game, but quickly discovered that he was unfamiliar with the nuances of the game. He aggravated them all by being clueless when it came to things such as dribbling and passing the ball, and even at point scoring against his own team. Finally, he nearly passed out in a field, unable to keep up with their energy and vigor and wondering if it was the end for him. As darkness fell and he looked up at the night sky, he reflected that his home planet was 46 light years away.

Vanderspeigle was joined by Asta. He apologized for revealing her secret, but she brushed it off, telling him that he had actually done everyone a favor, that it needed to come out. He told her that he missed home and she asked if he had any family there. He told her that he had a wife, who passed away, thus he took a job that brought him there. The group returned home, jamming to the song "Boujee Natives" on the way there. Upon arriving at his cabin, Vanderspeigle discovered the door open. He locked it before going inside, and heading for the basement, where he discovered the kids Max and Sahar passed out on the floor, having tried to touch the apple he had floating over a saucer via the power of tellurium. He checked their pulses and was annoyed to discover them both still alive. He stuffed them both in duffel bags and then headed upstairs, only to discover an unfamiliar woman standing in the living room. He asked her how she got in, given that the door was locked. "I have a key," she told him. "I am still your wife."

We're all dead[]

Vanderspeigle took Max and Sahar and returned them to their homes, hating the boy Max for having pretended to be his friend while actually sneaking into his cabin. He then confronted Isabelle, annoyed to find her still there. She told him that she was annoyed with him, that he had stonewalled the lawyers for months when she was ready to sign the divorce papers. To her surprise, he signed the papers immediately, but then to his surprise, she was still there that evening in the bed. In the morning, he told her that he had to go into work in town, leading her to wonder what he was doing playing "Dr. Fix-It" in Patience and having abandoned his practice. To his surprise, she pursued him to the clinic, and Asta Tweletrees told him to tell his "girlfriend" that she couldn't just come barging in. She replied that she was his "wife," surprising Twelvetrees, who pointed out that Vanderspeigle had told her his wife was dead. Hearing this, Isabelle flew into a rage, throwing boxes and papers at Vanderspeigle and shouting "I guess we're all dead!" before stalking out of the office in a huff. Meanwhile, the Hawthornes paid a visit to the clinic, intent on making their son Max apologize for having broken into Vanderspeigle's cabin. Vanderspeigle, however, did not accept the apology as he could tell that it was not sincere and Max, for his part, admitted that he didn't really want to apologize anyway. Vanderspeigle then pulled a trick by pulling out three photos and asking Max to identify which one was him, knowing that Max did not know what his human form actually looked like. After Max picked the wrong photo, Vanderspeigle told his parents that the boy had face blindness as well as teraphobia (fear of monsters) and recommended sending him to a special school in Georgia.

Arriving back home, Vanderspeigle was surprised to discover Isabelle still there. She admitted that she hadn't handled things well that morning and said that she wanted to make things up to him. Although Vanderspeigle was at first annoyed, the two seemed to bond over dinner. When she asked what was next, he told her "Scrub the pans before you leave," and started to walk away. However, when she serenaded him with Nat King Cole's song "Nature Boy," he returned to her and they shared a passionate kiss before dancing together. That evening, the two "reconnected" and the next morning, Isabelle noticed the painting of hers that the human Harry Vanderspeigle had purchased and said that he didn't have the heart to take it down.

Later that morning, in Joe's Diner, Max Hawthorne and Sahar confronted Vanderspeigle during his breakfast. Sahar presented him with a bizarre scenario in which she and Max both held heir breath until they passed out and die and he got blamed for their murder. The upshot of the conversation was that they wanted a truce - that Max would give up on trying to convince people that Vanderspeigle was an alien and, in exchange, Vanderspeigle would get him out of going to the school in Georgia. The two shook on the deal and then shared some friendly banter, Vanderspeigle reflecting that while he had hated Max, the hatred seemed to melt away as they talked and there might be something stronger than hate. Back at home, he was annoyed that evening by Isabelle's snoring, but decided that given the many emotions he felt about her, he would be willing to let her live another day.

The new doctor[]

Although Vanderspeigle had been starting to enjoy Isabelle's company, he was annoyed at how her constant need for him cut into his time searching for his spaceship and device. He therefore began drugging her with a combination of wine and sleeping pills in order to keep her passed out for hours at a time. Upon arrival at the Patience Health Clinic, however, he was greeted by Mayor Ben Hawthorne, who told him that he had found a new town doctor, Dr. Ethan Stone. Vanderspeigle was immediately annoyed by the new doctor, who seemed to be perfect at everything and, who, to his great annoyance, did not like the show Law and Order.

While Vanderspeigle was cleaning out his desk, Mayor Hawthorne gave him one of his homemade candles as a way of thanking him for stepping up to fill in. Vanderspeigle then recalled his truce with Max and started to tell the mayor that he had misdiagnosed his son. When, however, Stone came in offering to give a second opinion, Vanderspeigle backpedaled, claiming that Max was in fact very sick and did actually need to go to the institute to Georgia. He then made to leave, only to be confronted by Asta Twelvetrees, who asked if he was really going to leave without saying goodbye. He says that he didn't want to and they both call each other weirdos. Isabelle then shows up, but Twelvetrees explains that they were just saying goodbye.

At The 59, Isabelle suggested that she and Vanderspeigle return to New York. This annoyed Vanderspeigle, who definitely had no plans to return to New York, given his mission of finding his spaceship and device. When she asked him to name one thing he didn't like about New York, he bluntly replied "9/11." The new doctor, Stone, came into the bar and the two ended up getting into an arm-wrestling match, trying to prove their manliness, which ended when Vanderspeigle dislocated Stone's shoulder. Vanderspeigle then wondered cluelessly why everyone wasn't cheering for him. Back at the cabin, Vanderspeigle again drugged Isabelle and went out searching for his spaceship. He ended up just outside a government facility, where the agents David Logan and Lisa Casper were monitoring his every action. A male voice announced to them that he was unidentified, asking if they should engage. "Roger that," agreed Casper, "And if he tries to run, kill him." A car then pulled up within inches of Vanderspeigle.

The green glow[]

The occupant of the car got out and it turned out to be Isabelle, who had figured out what Vanderspeigle was doing and had only been pretending to be drugged in order to follow him. She asked him what he was doing out there alone in the middle of night. Vanderspeigle, however, realized that they were not alone and so he played it off as a domestic dispute in order to confuse the government agents that were watching him. Although his ploy was successful, it was the final straw for Isabelle, who told him that she was leaving him and going back to New York. Before taking off, she asked him if he had ever truly loved her. "Once," he replied, and she thanked him for being honest.

Finding himself with no job and at a dead end, Vanderspeigle wondered what humans dealt with failure. He ended up self-medicating using alcohol and pills and had a bizarre dream in which he was confronted by the corpse of the human Harry Vanderspeigle. The human Vanderspeigle told him that he was a failure and that, worse, his failure had made him human. He came at the alien Vanderspeigle with a knife and then, after he had seemingly woken up, came at him again, telling him that he was still dreaming. Convinced that he was stuck living a human life, Vanderspeigle then began searching the papers for jobs. While doing so, he was confronted by Max Hawthorne, who was upset because his parents were still planning on sending him to the school in Georgia. He asked Vanderspeigle why he hadn't told his parents he didn't need to go there and Vanderspeigle answered that he wasn't good at truces, telling the boy to go away because he had a lot of "being human" to do. Max left, but not before shouting back that if Vanderspeigle wanted to be human, he shouldn't keep a bunch of alien stuff in his truck.

Vanderspeigle applied for a job at the local bowling alley and arcade, only to be told that he was way overqualified. He then spent the day playing an old space-shooter video game until Judy called D'Arcy Bloom and Asta Twelvetrees, hoping they could get him to leave. Upon their arrival, they asked why he didn't go home to his wife. He explained that she had left him, saying that he had also lost job and life was horrible. They asked if there was anything they could do for him, but he replied that he already tried booze and pills. Twelvetrees was shocked at this, given this being a doctor. "Yeah," agreed Bloom, then shouted "Judy, get the pot!" The group proceeded to get totally wasted on the pot before eating noodles at a Chinese restaurant. While there, a very high Vanderspeigle wandered over to a tank and had a telepathic conversation with an octopus, who greeted him as a cousin, only to then chastise him for being high when his brother had been swimming around for six years with a plastic six-pack wrapped around his ass. Vanderspeigle explained about how he had failed his mission, but the octopus told him that he already knew the answer and Vanderspeigle realized that he could use Max's power. He then returned to Max, asking how he knew that he had "alien stuff" in shi truck, given that it was covered by a tarp. Max replied that he could see the "green glow" and Vanderspeigle realized that the same ability that allowed Max to see through his human form also allowed him to see alien technology.

Vanderspeigle sneaked into the local school with Max, where the two stole materials from the science lab. With these, Vanderspeigle constructed an enhanced telescope, which he then trained on the mountaintop. Using it, Max was able to pinpoint the exact location of Vanderspeigle's lost device. When, however, Vanderspeigle told him that he was going up there, Max was shocked, telling him that it was way too dangerous. He pleaded with Vanderspeigle not to go, but Vanderspeigle left anyway. Twelvetrees and Bloom noticed Max shouting after him, and while they were unable to get him to reveal exactly what Vanderspeigle was doing, they did learn from him about Vanderspeigle's plan to go up on the mountain. They followed behind him in snowmobiles and caught to him just as he discovered his device. Before he could claim it, however, the ice cracked, sending them all plummeting into a crevasse.

The secret revealed[]

After the group came to, Vanderspeigle chastised the two women for being heavy and causing the fall, leading Bloom to suggest that they should just leave him. Nevertheless, she tried to reach her snowmobile to go get help, but the snowmobile slid, causing her to end up hanging passed out and Twelvetrees and Vanderspeigle to fall even further down. When they came to again, Vanderspeigle was badly injured and had lost track of his device. Twelvetrees noticed him bleeding glowing blue blood and was stunned when she saw his face, parts of which were showing through to his alien form.

Although he tried to pass it off as "Colorado fever," she told him that there was no way that he could bluff a medical professional like this. He was forced to reveal to her the truth - that he was an extraterrestrial. Although she was at first disturbed, she settled quickly, telling him that it actually explained a lot, thinking of the odd ways he had behaved in the past. She asked him what he was really doing up in the mountain and he explained about searching for his device, but seized upon her suggestion that it was a radio that would allow him to contact his people. He then had her cauterize his wound, warning her that he would bleed out if she didn't.

As she worked to stabilize him so that he could transform back into his human form, the two continued share truths with each other. When she asked him why the real Vanderspeigle's wife, Isabelle, hadn't recognized him for what he was, he told her that some people only saw what they wanted to see. He also revealed that he had not been lying about his own wife being dead, except that as an alien, he did not have a gender. He and his partner had 342 children and though he had never worried about any of them, he now couldn't stop thinking about #62, who had his eyes. Twelvetrees replied that she thought things were complicated with just one child and he told her not to worry about Jay, that she was strong. She asked him just why he had come to Earth and he claimed that his people had been monitoring changes on Earth and that things weren't going well, so this was why he had to radio his people.

In a heroic feat, Bloom managed to reach the other snowmobile, allowing her to mount a rescue of Vanderspeigle and Twelvetrees. Vanderspeigle, however, worried that she too would learn the truth, but Twelvetrees assured him that this wouldn't be the case. She wrapped him a thick winter coat in order to hide his increasingly visible true form. When Bloom drove them to the Patience Health Clinic, Twelvetrees sent her inside to get help, but then took off, taking Vanderspeigle instead to Joe's Diner. There, she hid Vanderspeigle in the freezer, but was forced to reveal him to her adoptive father, Dan. He was stunned by the presence of the alien in his freezer, but nevertheless agreed to hold off Sheriff Thompson, who had come to check on the situation. Asta asked Vanderspeigle what she could do to help him, but he told her not to bother, that there was no point without his radio. She revealed that she had managed to find it and so he told her that he needed one of his legs to be cut off, that it was poisoning him. "We need to do what?!" shouted Dan, but Asta just told him to get the meat cleaver. She readied herself for the blow, only to find that she couldn't do it. "I can," declared Dan, grabbing the cleaver. He raised it and Vanderspeigle admitted to being afraid. Asta took his hand, telling him that nobody would be dying today. He thought to himself that he believed her, but now that he had his device, how about tomorrow? Dan brought down the cleaver and he screamed in agony.

Seeking alien tech[]

Vanderspeigle woke inside his cabin, where he learned that Asta Twelvetrees had spent the night watching over him. When she told him that she was looking into getting a prosthetic to replace his leg, he revealed a tentacle, explaining that his species descended from octopuses and that his leg was already regenerating. Once it had completely regenerated, he would be able to once again cloak it using the molecular reconstruction process, making it appear as though it was fully human once again and had never been chopped up in the first place. Twelvetrees was slightly disturbed by this, and also annoyed when Vanderspeigle did not show proper gratitude for her help. She eventually left to work for the day, warning him to rest. He, however, got to work examining his device. When the boy Max and his friend Sahar paid him a visit, he revealed to them that his device, which he still claimed was a "radio," was damaged. He told them that he was out of luck unless they knew somebody else who had been abducted by aliens. Hearing this, Max told him that he knew just where he needed to go if he wanted "alien stuff."

With Twelvetrees's help, Vanderspeigle journeyed to an alien convention in New Mexico. There, the two browsed the various panels, Vanderspeigle confusing Twelvetrees by telling her that the astronauts who landed on the moon had their bodies taking over by aliens, and amusing her with his wry commentary on various species of aliens. They eventually made their way to a panel of alien experiencers, finally apparently discovering what Vanderspeigle was looking for. Although he seemed skeptical of a number of the stories of the people at the panel, he eventually heard a story that caught his interest - that of a woman who claimed that aliens had cut open her shoulder and implanted a tracking device into her.

Vanderspeigle pursued the woman, eventually cornering her in a photo booth. He made to cut the technology of the woman's shoulder, only for her to reveal that she had been lying. Her story was entirely made up and she had never been abducted by aliens. She kneed Vanderspeigle in the groin to get away from him, then escaped. He was then confronted by Twelvetrees, who demanded to know just what it was they were doing there. Before they could pursue the matter, however, it become clear that Vanderspeigle was being tracked by the host of the experiencer panel, Peter Bach, who like the boy Max could see through Vanderspeigle's human disguise. Vanderspeigle fled from him, having Twelvetrees pretend to be an interested fangirl in order to run interference. He then laid a trap for Bach and discovered, to his delight, that Bach had actually been implanted with the tech he was looking for. Bach pleaded with him not to cut it out, that the Greys had abducted his son from his pregnant wife and he needed in case they ever came back so that he could finally meet his son. Vanderspeigle, however, told him that he was mistaken, that the Greys already had what they wanted and would not be coming back. Ignoring the man's shouted pleas of his being a monster, he cut the device out of Bach's arm.

Pizza and friendship[]

Vanderspeigle having gotten what he needed, he and Twelvetrees returned to his cabin. There, he found that someone had broken into the basement and discovered the body of the human Harry Vanderspeigle hidden in the freezer. He then hid it elsewhere so that by the time the discoverer, D'Arcy Bloom, returned with Mike Thompson and Liv Baker of the sheriff's office, she just ended up looking crazy. She had claimed to them to have discovered his dead body in the freezer, but as he was standing right there, Thompson and Baker were less than believing. She went down with Baker to check the freezer, and upon no body being found there, accused them all of gaslighting her. Vanderspeigle then smugly grinned as she was wrestled out of the house by Thompson.

Vanderspeigle repaired his device and steeled himself to push the button, starting a 90 minute countdown to the death of every human on Earth. Before he could do so, however, a radio announcement came on announcing the opening of a new a pizza restaurant, Mama Sap's Pizza, in the heart of downtown Patience. Having long craved pizza, he decided that he could not kill every human on the planet with an empty stomach. He then ventured downtown, where he chowed down on pizza, even attempting to feed some of it to a baby. He returned to the cabin with a huge stack of pizza boxes, reflecting that he had learned from the squirrels that after having filled your stomach, you take as much food as you can to eat later. He again moved to activate his device, but then decided that it would be smart to test it first, by using it in a more targeted form to vaporize the body of the human Harry Vanderspeigle that he had long been struggling to dispose of.

At this point, Vanderspeigle faced off once again with the hallucination of the animated corpse of the human Vanderspeigle, who told him that he was only stalling and that he was afraid to hit the button and kill everyone. He countered that his people did not feel fear, but the corpse replied that he was no longer human, that he had been infected with humanity. The two argued about the emotions he felt, and how he had taken him away from his wife Isabelle, that Isabelle grieved for him every day. Finally tired of the argument, the alien told the corpse that he was dumb if he thought he was afraid to kill everyone. He challenged the corpse to just sit and say nothing if he was right and, getting no response, pushed the button and vaporized the corpse. In doing so, however, he discovered that a part of his own body had been damaged and realized that if was still on Earth when he set off the device, then it would end up killing him as well.

While he still sat, debating whether or not to use the device, Asta Twelvetrees burst into his cabin and confronted him with the fact that he had lied, that he was the one who killed the human Harry Vanderspeigle. Though he tried to deny it at first, he was finally forced to admit the truth. He tried to argue that humans killed each other all the time, but she countered that he had seen just how Sam Hodges's death had affected her. She told him that they were done and when he said that she couldn't just leave, told him not to tell her what to do and what not to do, saying that he was "really getting the hang of this human male bullshit." He replied that they were friends, but she told him that they were not friends and left. Sobbing, he said to himself that he thought that she was his friend and that he didn't like being there anymore. He pushed the button on his device, activating the 90 minute countdown.

Vanderspeigle than drove his truck to the government facility where his spaceship was being held. He was confronted by government agents, but used his device to make short work of them. He reflected that he no longer had any choice, that he would fly away and drop the device on Earth to finish the job he had started. He repaired his spaceship and took off, fending off more human agents. He realized that he had forgotten to take the pizzas, but didn't have time to go back and get them because of the mission. As he continued to fight off the government forces, he saw Asta Twelvetrees and Max, who had been captured by a group of three agents. Alarmed, he lowered the spaceship and blasted the agents who were holding them captive. As he approached, Twelvetrees told Max to run and hide. She pleaded with Vanderspeigle, telling him that she knew why he was there and begged him not to do it. He told her that he must, that it was his mission, but she told him that she didn't care.

She said he knew that he had changed since he came and killed the human Vanderspeigle, and that if he killed everyone, he would kill her as well. She told him she was his friend, but balked when he suggested that they would leave together and kill everyone, saying that she was staying there. He agreed to not kill everyone and said that he would miss her, telling her that he had to leave, or else his device would kill everyone when it went off in 80 seconds. The two shared an embrace and, before leaving, he told her that he had left the pizzas in his freezer and she could have them if she wanted. He then boarded his spaceship and teleported into space, reflecting that humans kill to feel strong in the moment, but that true strength comes from choosing not to kill. He released his device, allowing it detonate harmlessly away from Earth and then made to go home. He then heard a noise and the boy Max stepped out from a compartment, asking meekly if he was taking him home. "This is some bullshit!" he shouted.

Amnesiac[]

Max insisted that Vanderspeigle immediately return to him to Earth. The two tussled for control over the spaceship, resulting in it crashing back to Earth. Vanderspeigle suffered a head injury in the process and managed to get Max to safety, but ended up suffering amnesia and being taken to a hospital. Once there, he awoke with no memory of his time as a human. When asked if he knew who he was or why he was there, he told the nurse "I'm an alien. I'm here to kill everyone." Naturally, however, the hospital's staff simply assumed that he was suffering from delusions due to his head injury. Later, when Vanderspeigle attempted to take a plush octopus from a young girl, believing it to be the real thing, the staff were forced to sedate him.

When Vanderspeigle next woke up, his first sight was Asta Twelvetrees, who had been searching for him and heard about his being there from one of her nursing contacts. Twelvetrees was pleased to see that he was safe, though a bit annoyed, as she thought that he was out of her life for good. He, however, was suffering a new delusion following the sedation and now believed himself to be Lennie Briscoe from the show Law & Order and her to be Cosette, his hooker confidential informant.

Hoping that familiar scenery and food would jog his memory, Twelvetrees took Vanderspeigle to the Chinese restaurant. The familiar scenery and noodles, however, did nothing to jog his memory and he kept talking to Twelvetrees as if he believed they were both characters in a crime drama. Just then, however, he was called over telepathically by the Octopus. He asked if he knew the Octopus and the Octopus looked into his mind, realizing how badly his memory was messed up. He emitted a pulse which instantly cleaned it up, bringing back all of his memories up to the crash.

The nature of family[]

Recalling the events of the crash, Harry races to the town park, where a baseball game is in progress. He tries to interrupt the game, but Asta comes up with a far simpler and more effective solution: cutting the power to the field's lights. After everyone except himself and Asta has left, he reveals his spaceship. He tries to get it going again, but Asta helps him to see that he can't and that its continued presence is going to be a liability for him. He then makes what he calls a "survival kit," shrinking the spaceship down to the form of four, small metal balls.

Later that day, Harry receives a visit from Max. Max is pleased to see Harry, convinced that he helped to protect him following the crash. Harry, however, refuses to admit as much and the rivalry between the two continues. Max secretly steals one of Harry's spaceship balls. Later, he has a conversation with Asta in which they discuss the nature of family. Asta explains that on Earth, your family is sometimes just people that you know, those that you can't imagine your life without.

Harry returns to the Chinese restaurant and talks with the Octopus, asking if they're family. The Octopus quips that they're "I'll see you at the reunion and say 'Wow, you got fat," family." Harry tells him that he's worried he's becoming too human and needs family to remind him who he is. The Octopus suggests that he break him out, that they could be roomies. He tells him he has to do it quickly, that his people are coming to kill everyone. Harry asks him what he means and he says that it's obvious: since he didn't complete his mission to kill everyone his people will just send someone else to do it. At this, Harry breaks him out.

The bunker[]

Harry has a nightmare in which he encounters a zombified D'Arcy Bloom in the wasteland of Patience. She tells him that he let everyone die and it was a big bummer. He asks her about Asta and she replies that it's way too late for her. Startled by his nightmare, Harry begins digging a hole and creates a bunker inside his cabin using the power of the alien technology from his spaceship balls. His intention is to bring Asta with him into the bunker and just the two of them can survive the apocalypse. Meanwhile, he also discovers that Max has stolen one of the balls.

While eating at Joe's Diner, Harry is confronted by Max and Sahar. Max is suffering early-onset puberty due to having stolen the spaceship ball. Sahar demands answers of him, but Harry refuses to open up because Max won't admit to the truth of what he's done. Meanwhile, Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv monitor the conversation from another table, as the human Harry Vanderspeigle has become their prime suspect in the murder of Sam Hodges. Max and Sahar finally leave and Asta takes their place. A conversation with her father Dan has led her to see that she's the only person keeping Harry from killing everyone and that he could use more friends. She insists that he attend the town's weekly poker game.

Harry attends the poker game, but only with the intention of possibly recruiting someone else for the bunker, as he feels that it would be helpful to have somebody there with him and Asta to cook and clean. Ultimately, however, the poker game goes disastrously, with Harry breaking the table with his alien strength after losing. Following this, Asta pays a visit to Harry at his cabin, bringing pizza. She is surprised to discover the cabin seemingly empty, but then sees a glow and discovers the hole with a ladder leading to the bunker.

Asta climbs down and discovers Harry. She asks him what the deal is and he explains about having built the bunker to shelter the two of them. He tells her that his people are coming. "When?" she wonders and he says that the Octopus thinks it could be just a matter of weeks. "Hello, stupid woman," says the Octopus, freaking her out. He unveils his big plan and it shocks her. She tells him that there's no way she can live underground with him for weeks. When he explains that it will be over a year, she bolts back up the ladder.

Back up top, she tells him that there's no way she could live with him for a year and give up on everyone she's ever loved. She says she'd rather die and tells him to call his people and get them not to come, that he could build a radio or something. He tells her that there's no way, but she guesses correctly that she's bluffing. She grabs his toaster and takes it to the bathroom, threatening to drop it in the water and electrocute herself. He tries to call her bluff, but when she drops the toaster, he grabs it to save her and finally agrees to build the radio and call his people. After he leaves, she pushes the safety switch on the electrical outlet that she tricked him with.

Attempted arrest, memory erasure[]

The two settle down for pizza when Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv arrive at the cabin. The two have put together the pieces and determined that the real Harry Vanderspeigle was likely the murderer of Sam Hodges. Asta opens the door and insists that Harry's not there, but Sheriff Mike calls her out, that they saw him eating pizza through the window. Asta suggests that they come back later, but Sheriff Mike threatens to arrest her for obstruction of justice. He steps forward and ends up triggering a loose floorboard, revealing bottles of botulinum toxin underneath. He demands that Asta tell him where Harry is and she says that he went to hide in the cellar. When he and Liv enter the cellar, however, they find another Asta as, meanwhile, the form of Asta upstairs morphs into Harry, holding one of the spaceship balls.

The two return upstairs, pointing their guns. They find Harry standing there and Sheriff Mike tells Harry to put his hands over his head, that he's under the arrest for the murder of Sam Hodges. Harry declares that he's going to have to catch him first and darts up into the rafters, moving to and fro. Sheriff Mike shoots wildly and Asta pleads with him to stop, telling him and Liv that Harry is an alien. Liv says that she always knew they were real.

The next morning, when Harry and Asta enter Joe's Diner, Mike and Liv greet the two cheerfully as they sit down to eat. Asta comments to Harry that she's surprised that it works. A flashback reveals that Harry altered their memories, which he explains is simple for an alien like him. He replaced their visit to the cabin, making them believe that as they were setting up, they were approached by an Agent Fisher of the FBI. He told them that they had done great work on the case, but that the FBI had been tracking it and it was time for them to take over. He told them that he could only tell them one thing about the case: that Harry Vanderspeigle wasn't the murderer. Back at the cafe, Asta asks Harry why he didn't alter her memory after she discovered that he was an alien. "Because now I am not alone," he replies.

The radio[]

Harry forges ahead with a plan to build a radio to contact his people, but is missing a critical component, a diffuser. While working on the radio, he is visited by Kate Hawthorne who was out taking a hike with her cousin, Carlyn. She explains that Carlyn fell and cut her knee open. At first, Harry just wants the two out of his house and fixes up Carlyn's knee in order to speed them on their way. However, she expresses an interest in the components on his table, not realizing their true nature. Kate explains that Carlyn works as a laser physicist at a lab in New Mexico and Harry realizes that from her lab, he may be able to get a diffuser he needs for his radio. Meanwhile, Carlyn is charmed by Harry's quirky personality.

Harry later pays a visit to the 59, where Kate has taken Carlyn as part of a tour of the town. He sits down and talks with Carlyn and the two seem to have an odd chemistry. He suggests that she take him to her lab and they steal a diffuser, which she treats as him being humorous. Eventually, realizing what Harry is up to, Asta pull them apart. He explains his plan, telling her that time is ticking and he needs this diffuser if he's going to be able to contact his people before they come and kill everyone.

With Asta's help, Harry brings Carlyn back to New Mexico, erasing her memories that when she wakes up, she thinks that she simply took a nap. He then assumes her form and uses her credentials to enter the lab. There, he takes the diffuser, but not before Carlyn's boss comes and feels him up, believing him to be her. He tosses the boss around repeatedly, giving him a beating he'll never forget. Back in Patience, he is delighted to discover that the diffuser works perfectly.

Birth[]

Harry is confronted by Max and Sahar, Sahar having realized that Max is suffering his early-onset puberty because of having stolen Harry's alien spaceship ball. She tells him that she's never giving him the ball back and he responds by explaining that he's built his radio, but says that he will tell his people to save everyone but Max and Sahar. In response, Sahar threatens something so vile that he calls her a sick, broken child, demanding that she give his ball back. She then reports to Asta, telling her that she thinks that Harry is building a bomb. Asta tells her that it's a radio, but she quotes Maya Angelou, saying that you should believe someone when they show you who they are.

Remembering that Harry's last "radio" was in fact a device to kill all humans, she demands to be with him when he uses the radio to contact his people. She arranges a trip together with her father Dan to the nearby Native American reservation, as it happens to possess the tellurium vein that Harry needs to activate the radio. They have to do it the next day in the morning in order to get the timing just right for the signal. When they get there, Harry meets a man named Drew, who has recently returned from the big city. Though he refers to him as "that Harry weirdo," the two seem to have something of a connection and Drew recognizes that Harry "belongs someplace else."

Asta, Dan and Harry's plans are thrown for a loop when Drew and Asta's cousin Kayla insert themselves into their trip. They offer to camp overnight with them and fish the next morning. When Asta is reluctant, Drew saves things by offering to fish with Kayla by himself, thinking that Asta is romnatically involved with Harry and wants time alone with him. She and Harry are forced to go along with this idea. That evening, Harry struggles to first set up his tent and that night is attacked by mosquitoes before communing in the wilderness with a bison.

In the morning, Harry and Asta set out and hike to the tellurium vein. Harry sets up his radio and begins to broadcast a signal, but shocks Asta by revealing that he is asking his people only to not come for 50 years, just enough time for the two of them to enjoy a life together. Aggravated, she shuts down the radio, telling him that this isn't going to work, that there are other people on Earth that she cares about. He starts pacing out of anger, shouting that they could have had fifty years together, but now his people will come and they'll have hardly any time at all. She shouts back that she knows he doesn't care unless it's her, so it's her again.

Before they can continue their argument, they get a call from Big Leroy, one of the residents of the ranch. His wife, Sunny, has just gone into labor. The group rushes to join them. At first, Asta doesn't want to let Harry help with the birth. When things start to go wrong, however, the others insist, as they don't realize that Harry isn't actual doctor. Harry manages to talk them through it, using tips he picked up from a YouTube video, and a healthy baby girl is delivered. Later, Harry and Asta talk and Asta mentions Jay's birth. Harry asks if he remembers him telling her not to feel guilty about giving up Jay for adoption because his own people send their children into the great ice wind.. He tells her that he understands now why she feels guilty, thinking to himself that human children learn everything from the humans around them and without nurturing parents to guide them, they become lost. He returns to his cabin, where that evening he is shocked to receive a signal on the radio, a phone number in his own language from someone in New York City.

The daughter[]

Far from being excited by the communication, Harry is troubled, worried that he has become too human and will not be accepted by another of his own kind. He is visited by Asta, who is shocked when she tells him that he received a phone number from an alien but didn't call. He tells her that he thinks that it might be a trap, but the Octopus, whom Harry has taken to calling "42," cuts to the heart of the matter by reading Harry's thoughts and sensing his fear. Asta tells Harry that she'll dial the number if he won't. Therfore, Harry does so and asks to talk with "the alien," only to get hung up on. Asta then looks up the phone number as belonging to a pizzeria in New York and tells Harry to pack his bags, that they're going to New York. Just then, however, Harry's phone rings. It is not, however the pizzeria, but rather Sheriff Mike Thompson.

Harry and Asta proceed to the sheriff's office at City Hall, where upon getting out of the elevator, they find Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv with a teenage girl who greets Harry with "Hi, Dad!" Sheriff Mike explains that the girl had a photo in her possession, one which shows her as a young girl fishing alongside him. Asta, improvising quickly, states that this is the daughter Harry had been telling him about, the one from his wife before Isabelle. Mike and Liv explain that the girl, Liza has a criminal record and that she had been sent by her mother to a camp for troubled teens. Harry thanks Mike for arresting her, but Mike says they don't have to go that far. Harry tells him that he should arrest her, but Asta intervenes, saying that they'll take her.

Harry and Asta bring Liza to Joe's Diner, where Liza is confused by Harry's bizarre behavior, clearly not that of the father she once knew. When he tells her to go home, she states that he normally at least pretends to be a father for a few days. She wallks out and Asta chastises Harry, saying that he killed her father and so she's staying with him until they can at least see her safely home. Harry looks outside, saying that she's already making friends, and Asta heads outside where she stops Liza from hitching a ride with a biker who is clearly up to no good.

Harry and Asta bring Liza back to the cabin, where Harry begins the task of trying to pretend to be a father to her. His initial attempts do not go well. When he tries to make pasta for her, she reveals to him that she's gluten-free, asking if he's trying to kill her. He tells her to go to bed with no supper, but she points out that she wasn't going to eat what he was making anyway. He then kidnaps a dog, Murphy, that Sahar has been walking, leaving a note telling her to give his alien ball back or she'll never see the dog again. He then brings the dog back home and tries to present it to Liza as a gift, only for her to ask what she's going to do with it, asking if he's forgotten that her mother is allergic. This is followed up by a series of other attempts by Harry in which he tries to host a toenail painting session, a tea-party and even give her the talk.

All of his attempts at bonding with Liza having failed, Harry decides to take Liza to Patience's annual Family Day festival. During the truck ride there, Liza can't see the point of attending, but the two begin to connect when Liza asks to drive the truck and Harry agrees. It soon turns out, however, that Liza is an erratic driver who can't figure out how to shift gears, very nearly runs into another vehicle, and completely misses a stop sign. Horrrified, Harry puts an end to the drive, shouting at her to get out of the truck and that she's the worst driver he's ever seen. She calls him a jerk, saying that she was finally having some fun and ends up running off.

Harry arrives at the Family Day and Asta wonders where Liza is. Her question is soon answered when Harry is splatted from behind by a water balloon. He shouts at her that she is bad at throwing as she is at driving and she shoots back that she must be a pretty good driver given how wet he is. Harry grabs a water balloon and the battle is on, at least until Mayor Hawthorne shows up, pleading with them stop as they only have a limited supply of balloons. The two, however, instead turn their water balloon attack on him, finally seeing eye to eye. Afterwards, the two sit together and enjoy festival food. Liza describes Harry as being "head-injury different," saying that he ghosted her for three years. He asks her why she came and she admits that she was afraid too, that she's changed also but that he's family and she was hoping it would be enough, that if it wasn't she would have to go back to the hellhole camp. He tells her to dial their number. She does so and hands the phone to him. He tells the person on the other end that is daughter is never going back to their stupid camp and that if they contact her again he will find them and their family. Liza says that it's enough and takes back the phone. She then asks him to win her a prize. He tells her that he will win himself a prize and consider giving it to her.

Harry more or less ends up stealing Liza's prize, a plush "little green men" style alien. He is taken aside by Sheriff Mike, who tells him that he wants a word. He tells Harry that he's experiencing memory loss and asks for Harry's help, explaining that he took his father for a biopsy, but can't remember doing so. He's concerned, as Sheriff Liv is also experiencing memory loss. Harry is troubled, as he realizes that the false memory that he implanted in Mike and Liv wasn't a good enough cover-up. Harry promises to help him, as Mike continues that his father is all he has. Harry then places his hands atop Mike's head, implanting another memory to try to fill the gap. He and Liza then attend a play, acted by the town's schoolchildren and written by Mayor Hawthorne about the 59 miners who died to save one. The play is supposed to be serious, but is a bizarre train-wreck. Harry and Liza cannot help but laugh out loud and Liza has to keep Harry from clapping too much at the end.

With Family Day over, Harry and Asta arrange a bus for Liza, allowing her to move on with her life. Liza thanks them both and even gives Harry a hug, telling him that he's a better father than she remembers. She says that she's glad they got to spend time together and she might even miss him a little. As they wave goodbye to each other, Harry thinks to himself that the alien is his family too and tells Asta that he's ready to go to New York. He thinks to himself that he's much more alien than human, that only an alien would have been able to implant a memory in Sheriff Mike's mind the way that he did.

The money bag[]

With Liza now on her way out of town, Harry and Asta finalize their plans to go to New York. Harry models outfits for the trip for the octopus 42, who tells him that no matter what clothing he wears, he's still going to be in his "gross skin-suit." The two argue, Harry saying that 42 is jealous because he's found real family, whereas he's just a distant cousin. 42 tells him that he's more family than the "dumb land seal," referring to the dog Murphy. Harry tells him not to insult Murphy, that the dog is grateful for getting treats, as opposed to him.

Asta arrives, presenting plane tickets for a flight to New York. She tells Harry to eat a lot before they go because they can't afford food, that she maxed her credit cards buying the tickets. Harry tells her that money isn't a problem, that they can just get what they need from the "money bag." "Yeah, sure," she laughs, sitting down, but Harry shocks her by bringing over a duffel bag that is indeed filled with stacks of $20 bills, as well as, he notes, a coupon for a free sundae at someplace called "Mrs. Peaches Ice Cream." Asta tells him that houses don't just come with bags filled with money and begins rifling through the contents, stunned to discover pictures of the real Harry Vanderspeigle and Sam Hodges, as well as Liza. Along with these are Sam's medical records and a note reading "Harry, you wanted more evidence against Galvan/Powell Group. Here. Call me." Asta tells Harry that people just don't have this much cash, that if they do, they either stole it or were paid to do something illegal. "He was a bad man," agrees Harry. Seeing all of this leaves Asta wondering just how this is all connected. She also wonders why Harry has Murphy. "I'm a dog person now," he lies.

Farewell, octopus[]

Later that day, there is a knock on Harry's cabin door. He looks outside and sees that it is Sahar. Panicking, he takes the dog Murphy and hides her inside the same room with the octopus 42, over the octopus's protests. He then confronts Sahar as she enters the cabin, calling it a "home invasion" and asking if she and Max have gotten a divorce. She tells him that divorce is against her religion unless initiated by the husband and therefore she's never getting married. He asks her if her presence means that she's accepted his terms, to give back the alien ball in exchange for the dog. She tells him that it's a funny story, but that the alien ball got stolen from her by the government. She then tells him she will have the dog back, but he tells her she's never getting the dog back. He shouts at her about the things that he could do her using the alien ball as she makes frantic motions for him to look behind him. As he continues ranting, 42 also shouts for him to around.

Harry does so and, to his shock, finds that the dog Murphy is giving the octopus a thrashing. He races over and the dog releases 42 and runs back over to Sahar. 42 tells Harry that he can barely see him and is dying. Harry tries chest compressions and even mouth-to-mouth, but to no effect and to the disgust of Sahar. 42 tells him that it is too late, but it is okay as he is going to New York in order to find real family. He says that it was an honorable death, telling him to honor his life by eating his body in butter sauce with a really nice Chardonnay. Harry does so, remembering the good times he had with 42 as he does.

The Big Apple[]

Harry and Asta fly to New York and Harry is overwhelmed by the sea of human bodies as they emerge from the subway. He briefly loses track of Asta, mistaking another woman for her. They make their way to the pizza shop with the number that came up on Harry's radio. Upon getting there, however, the proprietor seems completely clueless when asked about alien activity. They end up ordering pizza and leave the restaurant stumped. Once outside, however, Harry spots a mural on a wall and on it, a signature in his language, "Goliath." Asta looks him up on her smartphone and learns that he is a street artist and famous recluse, nicknamed "The Ghost of New York." She reads also that nobody has ever met Goliath, though countless people have tried. She asks how they're supposed to find him if nobody has ever met him, but Harry tells her that whatever Goliath does has a purpose and he will know when he has seen all the murals.

Along the way to see the murals, the two end up outside the headquarters of Galvan/Powell Group. Harry is reluctant to abandon the search even temporarily, but Asta tells him she only needs five minutes. She asks Harry to stay put as she goes in, worried that somebody from the company might recognize him. Harry, however, ignores her advice and instead heads off to a nearby pie shop. After he sits down and orders, he is approached by a man who clearly recognizes him, though believes him to be the human Harry Vanderspeigle. The man asks him what he's doing there, telling him that he was supposed to remain in Colorado and keep an eye on things. Harry tells him that he wanted to see the home of Law & Order, but the man is not amused by this response. He asks Harry to at least tell him that he destroyed the medical records. Harry does so, but the man is again not satisfied as it is clear that Harry is only telling him what he wants to hear. He gets up and leaves, warning Harry that he has no idea whom he's messing with. After, Asta comes over and reveals that she overheard the entire conversation, as she was immediately turned away by Galvan/Powell's security.

The alien egg[]

Following the lead from Goliath's paintings, Harry and Asta find themselves at a party of Goliath's artwork at a gallery hosted by one Violinda Darvell. During the party, Harry attempts to produce a silent call in order to summon the alien, only to find that in his human form the call is very much not silent. He and Asta consider the various artworks produced by Goliath and discover that one of them is around 20 years old, meaning that Goliath has been on Earth for at least this length of time. Therefore, they realize that to have blended in for this long, Goliath at this point must have become even more adept at being a human than Harry. The two split up in the hope of finding leads. As Harry considers more of Goliath's paintings, he encounters a man who offers him LSD. When Harry does not recognize the term at first, the man explains that its a hallucinogenic, saying that Goliath believes that LSD helps you to escape your human chains. Harry replies that he would like to escape his human chains and takes the LSD. Although there is no effect at first, over time he begins to trip out. The paintings in the gallery come alive and begins to lose control of his human form. He races out into Times Square, only to find himself surrounded by lights and intensified colors and his body now fully alien. Meanwhile, Asta chats with Violinda Darvell, who comments that she's "still searching for the ghost of New York." She tells her that his paintings are completely unavailable, but that she can give her a couple names, that there's a robust black market. Asta tells her that she doesn't need Goliath's paintings, she needs him. Violinda then drops a bombshell of a question: "Tell me... How long have you known Harry is an alien?"

Asta asks what it is that makes Violinda think that Harry is an alien. She explains that its his energy, that Goliath grew to love it there, but it was never natural. She says that he lived with a lot of inner turmoil that can be seen in his art. Hearing Violinda's use of the past tense, Asta asks Violinda what she means, if Goliath isn't there. "Goliath is here," Violinda tells here. Asta is relieved, but then Violinda takes her into a room and pulls away a cloth, revealing a fossilized alien, Goliath. Asta is shocked and Violinda explains that she and Goliath were in a romantic relationship. It was still his hope to connect with another of his kind, but he passed away six months before. "Their species fossilize when they die," she explains.

Despondent at the news that their trip to New York is apparently a dead end, Asta puts in a call to Harry. She is surprised to see him in his alien form. Harry, who has been wandering about New York, is shocked to see a boy in an alien costume take off the head. In his confused state, he tells Asta that he just saw an alien take off its head and that there was a human inside. He asks if there is a human inside him and how many licks it takes to get to the human. Fortunately, Asta recognizes where he is: in front of the New York Public Library. She tells him to remain put while she comes to him. The two eventually reunite, with Asta using ice to help shake off the effects of the LSD and restore Harry's human form. The two discuss Goliath's death, though Harry says that Goliath was dead to him the moment he became more human than him. As they prepare to make the return trip to Patience, Harry observes a mural of an octopus painted by Goliath. He wonders if Goliath had an octopus friend, but Asta replies that she didn't know how his mind worked, that maybe the painting is just random.

Harry tells Asta that nothing his people do is random, that everything has a purpose. He asks if Goliath didn't leave anything for him and Asta tells him that Violinda didn't mention anything and that she seemed really sad when she showed her Goliath's body. "You saw his body?" asks Harry, surprised, and Asta says that he could have told her that his people turn to stone when they die, or die standing up. "He died standing up?"! asks Harry, this fact seeming to mean something to him, and he takes off, saying they have to go. The two return to Violinda's art studio. Violinda tries to chase them away, shouting at Harry that he can't be there as he runs into the room with Goliath's body. To Asta's surprise and horror, Harry grabs a heavy object and shatters Goliath's fossilized body. She is even more surprised when from it emerges a marbled blue object, an alien egg.

Escaping New York[]

Violinda explains that Goliath used her genetic tissue to impregnate himself. Harry says that this is why Goliath contacted him. Further explanations, however, are forestalled by the arrival of a woman at the door. Violinda tells Harry and Asta that she'll take care of it and goes to let the woman in. While Violinda chats with the woman, Asta recognizes her as being the same woman that she saw in a sketch made by Deputy Liv Baker, who is Lisa Casper, the same government agent who tried to kill Max. "Oh shit!" she realizes and explains what she knows of who the woman is to Harry. Harry replies that he could just kill her, but Asta tells him there's to not be anymore killing. Violinda continues to try to fend Lisa off, but Lisa notices blue alien goo dripping from her bag and queries her about it. When Violinda tries to bolt, she starts shooting, causing Harry to appear and attack. He tosses Lisa through a skylight, but when Asta checks afterwards, Lisa is already gone, apparently having survived the fall with only minor injuries. Violinda apologizes to Harry, telling him that he was right, that Goliath wanted him to have the egg and its why he sent for him. She tells him further that she knows now why he said that it was important for him to have it, that people would be coming for it. She asks him to promise to take care of the baby and he does.

Harry and Asta escape out of the back of the art studio. They are, however, immediately pursued by two men. As the men give chase, Lisa Casper approaches and shoots the two. She wonders vaguely who they are, not stopping to check the IDs which show that they are agents of Galvan/Powell Group. Her brief delay gives Harry and Asta time to slip aboard a cab, which Lisa Casper can only observe helplessly for the time being as she rounds a corner.

Harry and Asta board a 48-hour train ride back to Colorado, Asta explaining to Harry that there was no way that they were going to be able to get the egg past airport security. She asks him if he even knows when it will hatch. He tells her that as a hybrid it's a total unknown, that it could hatch up to a year from now, or even right now. She asks what they're supposed to do now and Harry tells that Goliath died so that he could have this baby, that he knew what would happen if he became impregnated. Asta gets up to get a tea, asking Harry if he wants anything. He tells her that he does not want anything at first, but then asks for an ice cream sandwich. After she has left, the cabin door opens. He starts to tell her that he changed his mind and wants tea, only to discover that it is not her who has entered, but Lisa Casper. She tells him that he should have cleaned up after himself and that he's going to give her the egg and tell her where it came from. The two fight and though Lisa displays some impressive martial art moves, ultimately it is no contest. Harry forces her out a window and forms his alien arms to choke her out. She realizes too late that he is the alien she has been seeking all along as a passing train decapitates her.

Surprise![]

Asta returns to the train car to find a scene of devastation. She asks what happened and Harry first blames it on the cheap construction of the train before telling her that he "may have killed the bad woman." He then asks her calmly if she brought his ice cream sandwich. The two arrive back in Patience and are driven to Harry's cabin by Dan. Asta is quiet during the journey until queried as to exactly what happened on the trip by Dan. He is disturbed by the news, but congratulates Harry on having adopted a baby. Harry tells him not to worry, that it has not hatched yet and that he would know if it did, that it would spit acid. The group enters the cabin, only for the lights to come on and reveal the town's residents: Mayor Ben Hawthorne, his wife Kate, Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv, D'Arcy Bloom and Liv's husband John. "Surprise!" they yell. Mayor Ben wishes Harry a happy birthday, saying it's great to have him back in Patience. He asks him for a speech. "Get out of my house!" shouts Harry.

Asta comments that Harry is joking, to which Dan mutters "he's not." Harry comments to Asta that he doesn't like having people in his house uninvited and she quips that now he knows what Earth felt like when he arrived. Harry and Asta try to get everyone out by pretending that Harry isn't feeling well, but Ben doesn't go for it, saying that it's his special night and they'll nurse him back to health if needed. Meanwhile, Harry tries his best to hide the alien egg in his bunker, unaware that it is already hatching. Asta asks Harry what will happen if it hatchers and he tell her that it will look for high-calorie junky food and there's nothing more junky than a human. Asta says that they have to get everyone out of there. They try to make Harry look sick, but the birthday guests still sing him "For he's a jolly good fellow" and keep the party going. They tell him that there'll be cake and he asks if it can be pie instead. When Mayor Ben tells him that it can be pie, he agrees that everyone can stay, much to Asta's chagrin. He heads down to the bunker to check on the egg, reflecting on the irony of everyone celebrating the birthday of a man that he killed. He smells sulfur and realizes to his growing horror that the egg has hatched.

Humalien on the loose[]

Harry begins a frantic search for the baby as the other guests at the party begin to notice a smell of sulfur. He blames the sulfur smell on the gas from deviled eggs brought by Deputy Liv Baker, but secretly worries because the baby could be anywhere by now and even at birth his people are very strong and agile. He encounters Asta, who tells him that if there's any chance the egg will hatch, they need to get everyone out of the party now. He lies to her, telling her there's no chance it will hatch and saying that the party cannot end when there's still pie coming. She tells him that it's still a party so he can't just hide in the bedroom, that he has to at least come out and talk to people. He then goes to Dan, takes some hamburgers he's serving, and hands him some money, saying he'll take some fries at the table. Later, however, he continues to look around for the baby when he is confronted by Asta. "Looking for something?" she asks him pointedly, having discovered the alien baby in the toilet, who then skittered out a window. Harry claims to just be looking to heat up pie, but Asta is not buying, saying that the baby hatched and he knew it. Harry shouts that everyone has to leave the house, but Asta tells him that she saw it go outside, and he shouts out again, this time saying that everyone needs to stay in the house. He tells Asta that they should keep everyone together, that outside is not safe.

Asta informs Dan that the baby hatched and that Harry is very worried, though Dan points out that Harry doesn't look worried as Harry hobnobs with the guests. Harry sits and opens birthday gifts, one of them being D'Arcy's, which turns out to be a regift of a candle that she got from Ben. Later, Asta asks Harry how long she has to keep everyone inside, or if the "humalien" ran away. He tells her that he does not know what it will do, that it is a hybrid. He continues that the alien part of it will want to come back, as the egg sack it was born from is a food source, and after that, it will go after them. He tells her that he'll go downstairs to look for it and maybe snack on the sack himself. While downstairs, he is cornered by Ben, who tells him that Dr. Smallwood has chosen to "retire." He asks him if he will consider returning as the town doctor and Harry tells him that he will consider it. Secretly, he is panicking because the humalien is right behind Ben's head in a semi-cloaked form. Harry makes a lunge towards Ben, swatting at the alien, and excuses it as having seen a sick raccoon. Ben agrees that this is something they don't want, saying that he'll warn the others.

Harry heads back upstairs with Ben. There, he witnesses the evening's big blow-up, as the dirty laundry and secrets between Mayor Ben, his wife Kate, and D'Arcy bloom come out into open. When Kate reveals that she's pregnant, he snaps a party popper and shouts "Congratulations!", as always completely failing to read the mood of the room. As Ben and Kate retreat to another room to hash things out, the rest of the group sings "Happy Birthday" to Harry and serves him cake. They try to get him to blow out the candles, only for him to comlain that he doesn't like cake and to not understand the point of the ritual. Asta blows out the candles for him and just then the power goes out. Harry heads outside, claiming that he is going to set a trap for the raccoon. Outside, Harry finally tracks down the humalien. Suddenly, to his surprise, it leaps at him and clutches his head. He finds himself inside his own man, speaking with a man with a human appearance who identifies himself as Goliath. He asks him why he's inside a hybrid alien baby. Goliath replies that it's clever, that he needed to send him a message, a big one. He tells him that their people are not coming as there is already another alien species on Earth, planning to take it over. Before he can reveal the name of this species, however, Harry is shot in the chest, causing the humalien to disengage and leap into the lake.

Harry turns to see the man who accosted him at the cafe in New York. The man tells him that he should have just stayed in Colorado and done his job. "You shot me," replies Harry, stunned, but clearly not suffering the same effects that a human would if shot the way he was. "Yeah," replies the man, "like you shot two of my guys in New York," apparently not realizing that Harry has not been affected by the shot the way he should have been. He tells Harry that he never should have made him kill Sam Hodges, that he should have just done it himself. He raises the gun to fire again. The sound of a gunshot rings out, but it is the man who falls down, having been shot from behind by Asta. Stunned, Asta holds the smoking gun in her hand as D'Arcy Bloom stumbles onto the scene.

Behind the scenes[]

Whereas the Harry Vanderspeigle alien of the original Resident Alien comics is a rather nice guy, his television version is far less genial, with a mission to kill all humans. Regarding the change in the character's nature, showrunner Chris Sheridan stated "I felt like raising the stakes would be helpful. Giving Harry a sort of a negative mission and a negativity around him a little bit, gives him a place to go." Vanderspeigle's actor, Alan Tudyk, said that the character immediately appealed to him.[1]

Quotes[]

"Humans have a term for this: "Bad luck," and "raw deal," and "this is some bullshit.""
- Vanderspeigle regarding Max's ability, "Pilot"


"How long do you think I have?"
"Do you like Christmas?"
"Yes, very much.
"Celebrate it before June."
"Oh okay. Oh. But between now and Christmas?"
"You can eat anything you want."
"I like you. This is the first time that a doctor’s been totally honest with me. This town is very lucky to have a doctor as good as you."
- An elderly patient and Harry Vanderspeigle, "Homesick"


"Circumcision. What is that, eye surgery? (clicks, gasps and covers his eyes) They are a savage people.
- Vanderspeigle, researching medical procedures, "Secrets"


"If Max doesn't drop the alien thing, I'm gonna kill him."
"You and me both. (chuckles awkwardly)"
- Kate Hawthorne and Harry Vanderspeigle, "Secrets"


"I can't sleep at night. I want to learn how."
"Okay, well, please stop, it's creepy."
- Vanderspeigle, staring at Jay, and Asta Twelvetrees, "Secrets"


"You're so quiet. What are you thinking?"
"If I could fit your body in the freezer, next to the other guy."
- Isabelle and Harry Vanderespeigle, thinking, "Love Language"


"Unless you know someone who has been in contact with other aliens, than I am... what is the expression? 'Shit out of luck'."
"If you don't stop using that kinda language around us, we're gonna have to wash your mouth out with soap."
"Go ahead. I like soap. I eat it all the time. Shit. Ass. Piss. Stink. Where's the soap? I am so hungry."
- Harry Vanderspeigle and Sahar, "Welcome Aliens"


"Kinda cool that I'm here with an actual alien. I feel special."
"You are not special. You are common."
"That's oddly less offensive now that I know you're from outer space."
- Asta Twelvetrees and Harry Vanderspeigle, "Welcome Aliens"


"The moon landing was a sham. It was all filmed on a soundstage by Kubrick."
"The astronauts did land on the moon."
"Good."
"And their bodies were taken over before they returned."
"What?"
- Host of "Lunar Lies" panel, Harry Vanderspeigle and Asta Twelvetrees, "Welcome Aliens"


"You know, you're just stalling. You're afraid to kill everyone."
"No, I'm not. My people do not feel fear."
"Yes, but you're not your people anymore, are you? You've been infected with humanity." "I don't need to listen to this!
- A hallucination of the human Harry Vanderspeigle and the alien Vanderspeigle, "Heroes of Patience"


"My mission is to kill everyone."
"If you kill everyone, you kill me."
- Harry Vanderspeigle and Asta Twelvetrees, "Heroes of Patience"

"I'm an alien. I'm here to kill everyone."
- An amnesiac Harry Vanderspeigle to a nurse who asks if he knows who he is, "Old Friends"

"Stop it. You are not a detective. Please try and remember, okay? You... You are an alien."
"Cosette, I see you're back on the smack."
- Asta Twelvetrees and Harry Vanderspeigle, "Old Friends"

"You don't know anything about space. You are a Colorado octopus."
"Is that where we are? Shit. I thought this was India. That is an Indian rug. You are appropriating their culture. That's not a good look, man."
"I saw it at a red tag sale for $5. I had to buy it. Plus, I think it really brings the room together."
- Harry Vanderspeigle and 42, "The Wire"

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End of the World As We Know It[]

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Heroes of Patience[]

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An Alien in New York[]

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